MAN-UP Im told.........

[taz01]

Sold my safari whale and bought a wagon, guess id better MAN-UP and admit i just couldn't force myself to buy another Toyota so to be different ive bought a 94 disco had the cats pulled small exhaust change and sounds like an 8 should ANGRY......no doubt jerry will appear with camera in hand so will wait for him to post pics up....
i await your bagging/bragging comments,

[Pedro]

Sold my safari whale and bought a wagon, guess id better MAN-UP and admit i just couldn't force myself to buy another Toyota so to be different ive bought a 94 disco had the cats pulled small exhaust change and sounds like an 8 should ANGRY......no doubt jerry will appear with camera in hand so will wait for him to post pics up....
i await your bagging/bragging comments,

oh shit are you gonna get grief........

comfortable to drive anyway

pedro

[nztimr33]

Land Rover

[abbo]

And you told me not to post up..... . That didn't take long bud....

[ice4x4]

Well done! You've seen the light

[Nizsafari]

Nice choice of tow wagon shame about the fuel bill that comes with it

[Jerry]

Is this one a keeper as well taz .... ummm why did stinky sell his rover

i just couldn't force myself to buy another Toyota

Cough .... B....S.... how many seconds did it take you to ring me up wanting to buy the surf

[stinky]

[Jerry]

Is it called the TazRover01

[Moriarty]

LANDROVER???? Ok so disco, still a bloody rover!!

parts available from Tata in India

You, you bugger, you have the unmitigated gall to sneer at my Samsingsungsong!!! LOANrover? BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

[basics]

this thread is full of laughs

how many trucks have you owned now

[Dace]

Well done! You've seen the light

is that the engine warning light??!!!

[DieselBoy]

Well done! You've seen the light

is that the engine warning light??!!!

Probably the ABS light actually

Well done

[bruntonjm]

Well done! You've seen the light

is that the engine warning light??!!!

possibly mad driver light,

[bruntonjm]

All Land Rovers are like women - They moan on long journey's, embarrass you in front of friends, and you spend more money than you ever expected once you've commit yourself to one.

Police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket

Why do most Defenders have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted? - So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for the tow truck

Land Rovers have the best fuel consumption of all 4x4's - That's because they are always being towed by Toyotas.

Why do Land Rovers always drive in convoy? The are playing 'Who's the Weakest Link

I always wondered why Land Rover called their models, a Series 90, Defender 110 etc - But this weekend I found out, those numbers in the model name are the top speeds

When you drive on a motorway, you get these emergency phones next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are emergency numbers like; police, ambulance, doctor, Land Rover etc.

Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Landy's users’ manual?
A: The train & bus schedule

Q: What is the sport-version of a Landy?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes

Q: What do you call a Landy with brakes?
A: Customized

Q: What do you have to do if your Landy gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge in the car

Q: How do you make a Landy go faster uphill?
A: Throw out the passenger.

Land Rover is one of the most environmentally friendly cars you can find..
It puts the oil back in the earth

You put your coat on as you get INTO your car.

If, whilst driving, you frequently turn down the volume of the stereo .... to check for new noises.

I can trust my husband: if he stays out all night long it's because he's stuck in the forest and not because of another women.

[DieselBoy]

If, whilst driving, you frequently turn down the volume of the stereo .... to check for new noises.

Shit, I'm guilty of that for sure!!!! Infact, I turn the stereo off up big hills so I can hear the rev's (no rev counter) and hear if the fan has come in

[ice4x4]

If, whilst driving, you frequently turn down the volume of the stereo .... to check for new noises.

Shit, I'm guilty of that for sure!!!! Infact, I turn the stereo off up big hills so I can hear the rev's (no rev counter) and hear if the fan has come in

I can't hear the stereo in my car cause of the V8. But if I hear any weird noises I just sing LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa in my head and hope it goes away......

[Bubba]

If, whilst driving, you frequently turn down the volume of the stereo .... to check for new noises.

Snap!

I'm also running out of stickers to place over the red warning lights.

[ant-neil]

i just brought a 95 disco taz
got a 2 inch lift already and raw nitro max shocks for 1500 fitted
swaybars gone and flexing pretty good aye
still legal at mo
but cutting guards to fit some simexs
i might need some bars done mainly back for now

[Moriarty]

The funny thing about this thread, is the complete abcess ( know its misspelt) of taz01, is he laughing or crying cos he's shot himself in the foot this time?

[taz01]

its absence bob and just letting you all get it outa ya system

[Jerry]

at least you have a good parts truck parked outside

[Jerry]

Not many people know that the manufacturer
of Land Rovers attempted to market a computer.
Why did they stop?
The could not find a way to get it to leak oil!

Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil?
The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner
"How can you tell one switch from another at night, as they all look the same ?"
"He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

[nztimr33]

Not many people know that the manufacturer
of Land Rovers attempted to market a computer.
Why did they stop?
The could not find a way to get it to leak oil!

Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil?
The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner
"How can you tell one switch from another at night, as they all look the same ?"
"He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

[Jerry]

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
***
Lucas - "Inventor" of the first intermittent wiper.
***
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
***
Land Rover three position headlight switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
***
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
***
"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
***
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start...
***


Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators...

[Jerry]

I always wondered why they called their models, a Series 90, Defender

110 etc. But this weekend I found out, those numbers in the model name are the top speeds.

Q: Why did they use Land Rover for the Camel Trophy?
A: To make it as difficult as possible for the competitors...

"My Disco 3 is a Bit Like Your Wife Sir, A Good Ride But Not Much To Look At"

With a Land Rover you can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your handbrake fails.


Q: How do you get oil into a Land Rover?
A: Throw it over the engine and it will leak in.


What does the Titanic and a Land Rover have in common? It has the same turning circle and is just as waterproof.

[tomsoffroad]

Q: How do you get oil into a Land Rover?
A: Throw it over the engine and it will leak in.

classic

[Jerry]

When Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon 30 years ago Cape Canaveral mission control came through and asked him to comment on what he saw?
He turned around, looked at the Earth and replied.
"I can see two things"
"I can see the Great Wall of China"
"I can also see the gap between the Land Rover's door and frame"


What about the guy that walked into the factory one morning in 1948 with the spare wheel, didn't know where to put it, so left in on the
bonnet. Another guy walked in later, noticed the wheel on the bonnet and decided to secure it with a bolt.

Lucas jokes

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas denies having invented the darkness.
But they still claim the "sudden, unexpected darkness"

What is Joe Lucas also known as? The Prince of Darkness.

Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.

The other three switch settings - Smoke, Smolder and Burn.

The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou...

How did Joe Lucas die? He used one of his own pacemakers.

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo - It sank!

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they meet too much resistance.

Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line
and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners.
It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators

QA called and told the Engineering they had trouble with his design shorting
out so he made the wires longer.

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency
that's all.

Reasons to own a Land Rover:

My LR is like a child: she has a mind of her own which has set new boundaries to my limits of patience, she needs constant attention, she is unique and made me experience the full spectrum of human emotions ... but is impossible not to love her.

It doesn't matter if the dog ******* in the back

In the event of a nuclear war, you can roll your melted window down and
ask'where did everybody go?'

You can always get spares no matter where You are (in the world) -

The smell of diesel hides that of the oil leaks -

No more resprays, just get out the tin of Nato Green!!! -

You have seen the rest now ...now drive the best....

You can park on the kerb (which others can't!) Or alternatively, you can
try to make a U-turn and drive OVER the kerb!!!

There is nothing more instantly recognisable than a Landy! Especially on
the kerb...

My mother cant climb, the land rover do it for her.........

Why spend $40,000 on the newest sport utliity today when you can spend much
more than this on a Series IIA over 20 years.

Standing on the roof of a Landrover with a chainsaw is the only way to trim
trees

Land Rover: To go where the Jeep has gone before - and the Jeep still lays
there, broken

Unlike other cars, dirt only makes it LOOK BETTER -

There's nothing like seeing dirt & rock out of the drivers side window &
blue sky out the pasenger's

Real men drive Land Rovers. Nerds and sissies don't. So, tell me sunshine,
are YOU a real man?

With Lucas (The Prince of Darkness) you pretty soon qualify as an
electrician

Unlike a Porsche, you can drive it to it's limits and never get a ticket! -

Better to push a Landy than to drive a Jeep

IN A LAND ROVER,THE OTHER CAR IS YOUR CRUMPLE ZONE.

Land Rover engineers went to visit the Mitsubissanota factory to see how they tested the seals on their vehicles. The Mitsubissanota engineers explained they shut a cat in the vehicle - if they came in on Monday and the cat was dead the seals were all OK.
The Landy engineers figured they would test the defender over the weekend - when they came in on Monday the cat was gone.

[Jerry]

What the difference between a defender and a Jehovahs witness?


You can close the door on a jehovahs witness

[Suza]

What the difference between a defender and a Jehovahs witness?


You can close the door on a jehovahs witness

Dosn't riveting on a hasp and staple on the door fix this? or is that just the security upgrade