"Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
- 1000dollamitzy
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:34 am
"Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
"I've got a crak'n good idea" said Mr Ice. "Its me birfday oon the 29th, and I'm goin too be ome, so I reckon we need to go 4WDriving"
"Sounds like a plan" I replied "Lets make it easy cause the only truck I got running is the big Paj. So what's say we just do a quick run down the river"
"Aye, good idea, lets do that then" chortled Mr Ice.
And that was how it started, a seemingly innocent conversation, a simple arrangement, the makings of a disaster of epic proportions!!!!!
Typically a couple of days before hand I get the obligatory call from Mr Ice. "We've goot a small problem"
"Oh no" I said "Don't tell me Mrs Ice has dropped her Iphone down the dunny again?"
"No, it's more serious than that" he replied
"Wow" I thought, "this has got to be bad"
"The frost plug at the very back of the engine has sprung a major leak, and the only way to fix it properly is to take the head off" bemoaned Mr Ice.
"Bugger" I said
"But don't worry" Said Mr Ice, "I'll try fixing it with some silly putty I got here"
Two hours later we were good to go. The man is a legend....
So me and Mr Ice met at Maraekakaho at 10am and waited for the others to turn up, which they didn't of course, the slackers. Wingnut was still waiting for all the kings horses and all the kings men to fix his back, Clive couldn't drag his sorry arse out of bed and Buzz was just missing in action.
Think it might be time for a lecture on commitment lads!!!!!
Anyway the two of us set off and approached the first river crossing, which we made it across without a problem, and that was about the only time we didn't have a problem for the rest of the day
Turns out a stock standard gen 2 paj has all off road ability of a squashed frog, so the next small crossing it wound up a bit stuck......
Not too worry, Mr Ice got across at a slightly different spot and pulled me out with out too much trouble.
Then Mr Ice spent a bit of time flexing out his fancy suspension and looking cool
So that Mr Ice didn't have to pull the Paj out of every river crossing I employed the age old, tried and tested, almost never fails, "bury ya foot to the floor" 4WDriving technique
This can very effective but still did not always guarantee I made it across......
Although the kids thought it was hilarious, especially when all the water went straight over the bonnet, the front windscreen and then through the open sun roof
And then we still had to be pulled out.....
We were actually doing really well, almost 45 minutes had passed since we started and we were still moving and apart from me getting stuck in the river every few minutes we had had no major disasters.
But as you will all know by now, when me and Mr Ice go 4WDriving this situation can never last and sure enough the inevitable happened 5 minutes later.
Mr Ice lined up what looked like a small crossing and should have been a piece of cake, a walk in the park, a gentle stroll by the river so to speak, except when you forget to check the depth of said small river crossing............
So into the breach dived (literally) Mr Ice, water went up over the bonnet, over the windscreen, over the roof, as Mr Ice bravely went in search of the titanic.
Needless to say when it gets that deep in such a short crossing the climb out the other side is a little steep and the mighty rangie didn't have a chance.
Mr Ice tried going backwards, but that didn't work either, so went forwards again, and then backwards and then forwards again and only succeeded in burying the now struggling Rangie deeper into the river bed.
Up until this point things were still all good however. It was then that things took a turn for the worse.
You see because the Pom's live in a country that sometimes doesn't see the sun for 6 months of the year, sometimes their thinking can get a bit foggy. This is where the term "Foggy Bottom" comes from. When there had been a particularly long stretch of sunlessness that would send a few of the pom's into a foggy state, when they got so bad they couldn't even wipe their own arse, it was said that they were at a "Foggy Bottom", and would be sent away to a certain part of the country that was even more depressing than the rest of England to recover.
This place was where they built all the Rangerovers. And if they never recovered and stayed there long enough they got to become engineers and design and build Rangerovers. True story........honest........
Anyway one of these clever chaps thought up the brilliant idea of sticking the second most important thing next to the air intake, the ECU, on the floor under the front seat. Feck'n Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!
Then just to make sure that the dammed thing was definitely going to get wet the first time you went through a puddle, they made sure the doors wouldn't seal properly. At least in the Pajero you can get stuck in the river and as long as you climb out the window it will stay dry inside.....No wonder Hitler packed such a mental when they replaced his Pajero with a Landy...
Anyway by the time I managed to get anywhere close it was all over bar the winching as the motor was dead as a Leman Brothers executive dropped in the Bronx.
Except that winching wasn't an option because the battery in the Rangie wasn't too flash either so there was no winching to be had under any circumstances. Couldn't swap it with my battery as mine was on the way out also and that would have just meant we would have two dead trucks in the river instead of one.
So we tried the old dig and tug method for about 10 minutes and then realised that wasn't going to work as it was going to take about 4 hours of snatching to get it out, and we only had one decent snatch strap and even if we managed to get it out of the hole it was in there was no way the Paj was going to be capable of towing the Rangie out to any sort of sealed road anyway.
It was fair to say we were up S%^T creek big time
Part two, the rescue, shortly
"Sounds like a plan" I replied "Lets make it easy cause the only truck I got running is the big Paj. So what's say we just do a quick run down the river"
"Aye, good idea, lets do that then" chortled Mr Ice.
And that was how it started, a seemingly innocent conversation, a simple arrangement, the makings of a disaster of epic proportions!!!!!
Typically a couple of days before hand I get the obligatory call from Mr Ice. "We've goot a small problem"
"Oh no" I said "Don't tell me Mrs Ice has dropped her Iphone down the dunny again?"
"No, it's more serious than that" he replied
"Wow" I thought, "this has got to be bad"
"The frost plug at the very back of the engine has sprung a major leak, and the only way to fix it properly is to take the head off" bemoaned Mr Ice.
"Bugger" I said
"But don't worry" Said Mr Ice, "I'll try fixing it with some silly putty I got here"
Two hours later we were good to go. The man is a legend....
So me and Mr Ice met at Maraekakaho at 10am and waited for the others to turn up, which they didn't of course, the slackers. Wingnut was still waiting for all the kings horses and all the kings men to fix his back, Clive couldn't drag his sorry arse out of bed and Buzz was just missing in action.
Think it might be time for a lecture on commitment lads!!!!!
Anyway the two of us set off and approached the first river crossing, which we made it across without a problem, and that was about the only time we didn't have a problem for the rest of the day
Turns out a stock standard gen 2 paj has all off road ability of a squashed frog, so the next small crossing it wound up a bit stuck......
Not too worry, Mr Ice got across at a slightly different spot and pulled me out with out too much trouble.
Then Mr Ice spent a bit of time flexing out his fancy suspension and looking cool
So that Mr Ice didn't have to pull the Paj out of every river crossing I employed the age old, tried and tested, almost never fails, "bury ya foot to the floor" 4WDriving technique
This can very effective but still did not always guarantee I made it across......
Although the kids thought it was hilarious, especially when all the water went straight over the bonnet, the front windscreen and then through the open sun roof
And then we still had to be pulled out.....
We were actually doing really well, almost 45 minutes had passed since we started and we were still moving and apart from me getting stuck in the river every few minutes we had had no major disasters.
But as you will all know by now, when me and Mr Ice go 4WDriving this situation can never last and sure enough the inevitable happened 5 minutes later.
Mr Ice lined up what looked like a small crossing and should have been a piece of cake, a walk in the park, a gentle stroll by the river so to speak, except when you forget to check the depth of said small river crossing............
So into the breach dived (literally) Mr Ice, water went up over the bonnet, over the windscreen, over the roof, as Mr Ice bravely went in search of the titanic.
Needless to say when it gets that deep in such a short crossing the climb out the other side is a little steep and the mighty rangie didn't have a chance.
Mr Ice tried going backwards, but that didn't work either, so went forwards again, and then backwards and then forwards again and only succeeded in burying the now struggling Rangie deeper into the river bed.
Up until this point things were still all good however. It was then that things took a turn for the worse.
You see because the Pom's live in a country that sometimes doesn't see the sun for 6 months of the year, sometimes their thinking can get a bit foggy. This is where the term "Foggy Bottom" comes from. When there had been a particularly long stretch of sunlessness that would send a few of the pom's into a foggy state, when they got so bad they couldn't even wipe their own arse, it was said that they were at a "Foggy Bottom", and would be sent away to a certain part of the country that was even more depressing than the rest of England to recover.
This place was where they built all the Rangerovers. And if they never recovered and stayed there long enough they got to become engineers and design and build Rangerovers. True story........honest........
Anyway one of these clever chaps thought up the brilliant idea of sticking the second most important thing next to the air intake, the ECU, on the floor under the front seat. Feck'n Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!
Then just to make sure that the dammed thing was definitely going to get wet the first time you went through a puddle, they made sure the doors wouldn't seal properly. At least in the Pajero you can get stuck in the river and as long as you climb out the window it will stay dry inside.....No wonder Hitler packed such a mental when they replaced his Pajero with a Landy...
Anyway by the time I managed to get anywhere close it was all over bar the winching as the motor was dead as a Leman Brothers executive dropped in the Bronx.
Except that winching wasn't an option because the battery in the Rangie wasn't too flash either so there was no winching to be had under any circumstances. Couldn't swap it with my battery as mine was on the way out also and that would have just meant we would have two dead trucks in the river instead of one.
So we tried the old dig and tug method for about 10 minutes and then realised that wasn't going to work as it was going to take about 4 hours of snatching to get it out, and we only had one decent snatch strap and even if we managed to get it out of the hole it was in there was no way the Paj was going to be capable of towing the Rangie out to any sort of sealed road anyway.
It was fair to say we were up S%^T creek big time
Part two, the rescue, shortly
I dont have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle....
- 1000dollamitzy
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:34 am
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Hers is part two, the rescue.......
Needless to say it was time to get some help. Problem was we had no idea of exactly where we were, so there was no point in ringing anyone up until we could figure out where we were.
Getting home in time for Mr Ice's birthday party was looking less and less likely all the time, so Mr Ice was beginning to make plans of how he could escape the country before Mrs Ice caught up with him when he didn't make it home on time.........
Now there must be a God in Heaven (he was probably rolling on the floor laughing his butt of by this time) who decided to look down upon us, smiled, and took pity on Mr Ices marriage. Because not 200 meters away appeared an access road leading down into the river.
So Mr Ice and myself figured we might as well go for a walk and find out where the road came out in the hope that there was an easy route for a rescue party to come and get us out.
So off we trudged with Mr Ice feeling rather dejected and uncool, and me trying not to make him feel any worse by cracking too many jokes
And as luck would have it after a short walk we came across an angel that looked just like a friendly Maori falla and who was driving a whopping great big front end loader
So while I talked the angel guy into dragging our sorry butts out of the river, Mr Ice measured up the wheels on the loader to see if they would fit under the Rangie.......
Anyway after Mr Angel stopped laughing at us we all climbed aboard the loader and just like the cavalry at Custers last stand we charged up the access road to rescue the drowned Rangie.
The Rangie was subsequently hooked onto the back of the loader and like the hand of God it was he pulled the rather soggy Rangie straight out as though it wasn't even there.
Mr Angel then proceeded to drag the Rangie the rest of the way to the access road with me buzzing around behind trying not to get myself stuck in the river again.
Once back on terra firma we thanked Mr Angel very much and hooked the Rangie onto the back of the Paj to tow it the rest of the way out to the road. Which was also a little interesting as in the process of being dragged out of the river the brake lines had been torn off the Rangie so it didn't have any brakes....
Once back at the road we left the Rangie for a while and went back home to collect the trailer so the Rangie could be towed home.
Sure this picture looks very familiar somehow.........
The good news is that we actually made it back on time so Mr Ice managed to not only attend his own birthday party, but also keep himself married!!!!!
That's all folks, see you next time
Needless to say it was time to get some help. Problem was we had no idea of exactly where we were, so there was no point in ringing anyone up until we could figure out where we were.
Getting home in time for Mr Ice's birthday party was looking less and less likely all the time, so Mr Ice was beginning to make plans of how he could escape the country before Mrs Ice caught up with him when he didn't make it home on time.........
Now there must be a God in Heaven (he was probably rolling on the floor laughing his butt of by this time) who decided to look down upon us, smiled, and took pity on Mr Ices marriage. Because not 200 meters away appeared an access road leading down into the river.
So Mr Ice and myself figured we might as well go for a walk and find out where the road came out in the hope that there was an easy route for a rescue party to come and get us out.
So off we trudged with Mr Ice feeling rather dejected and uncool, and me trying not to make him feel any worse by cracking too many jokes
And as luck would have it after a short walk we came across an angel that looked just like a friendly Maori falla and who was driving a whopping great big front end loader
So while I talked the angel guy into dragging our sorry butts out of the river, Mr Ice measured up the wheels on the loader to see if they would fit under the Rangie.......
Anyway after Mr Angel stopped laughing at us we all climbed aboard the loader and just like the cavalry at Custers last stand we charged up the access road to rescue the drowned Rangie.
The Rangie was subsequently hooked onto the back of the loader and like the hand of God it was he pulled the rather soggy Rangie straight out as though it wasn't even there.
Mr Angel then proceeded to drag the Rangie the rest of the way to the access road with me buzzing around behind trying not to get myself stuck in the river again.
Once back on terra firma we thanked Mr Angel very much and hooked the Rangie onto the back of the Paj to tow it the rest of the way out to the road. Which was also a little interesting as in the process of being dragged out of the river the brake lines had been torn off the Rangie so it didn't have any brakes....
Once back at the road we left the Rangie for a while and went back home to collect the trailer so the Rangie could be towed home.
Sure this picture looks very familiar somehow.........
The good news is that we actually made it back on time so Mr Ice managed to not only attend his own birthday party, but also keep himself married!!!!!
That's all folks, see you next time
I dont have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle....
- Crash bandicoot
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 2924
- Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:19 pm
- Location: Towing a hilux
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
legendary
Waiter...there is a drought in my glass.
- mightyhilux4x4
- Driver/Navigator
- Posts: 38
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 11:16 pm
- Location: hastings
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
COOL STORY BRO ...say it again.....
- skid
- Tyre Man
- Posts: 6309
- Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: WELLINGTON-0272417757
- Contact:
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
You should write more stories bro
awesome penmanship
awesome penmanship
80 Series on 35" creepies, manual with twin factory lockers.
0272417757
*CHILLAX BRO.*
0272417757
*CHILLAX BRO.*
- catalystracing
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 820
- Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:14 am
- Location: within the matrix
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Awesome write up, just goes to show how quickly it can turn to poos.
Hope the grader driver was well thanked with the appropriate brown bubbly currency
Hope the grader driver was well thanked with the appropriate brown bubbly currency
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Good on ya lads, sorry I couldn't make it, but going on a 4wd run (especially with you 2) won't look good in ACC's eyes while I'm a few weeks away from surgery on my spine!!
Il get Bilsteins fitted in my back and will be on the next run
Another top write up Rick
Il get Bilsteins fitted in my back and will be on the next run
Another top write up Rick
Its better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Your high standards in storytelling have definitely not slipped, did Mr Ice go and buy a lotto ticket after that? 'Cause stumbling accross that loader was a VERY lucky turn of events.
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Awsome write up dude, you should send it into one of the mags!!
It's just more fun in a lada !!
- 1000dollamitzy
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:34 am
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Thanks Guys
I appreciate the comments, always nice to know our adventures are good for everyone else's entertainment
I think Mr Ice flagged the lotto ticket and went and got tonsillitis instead
Yep, goes to show that even the easiest of runs can turn to custard when they let me and Mr Ice play unsupervised
Yes Skid you are right, I need to write more stories, but I need to do more 4WDriving to do that and that requires a certain mad engineer to finish the Lada........
I appreciate the comments, always nice to know our adventures are good for everyone else's entertainment
I think Mr Ice flagged the lotto ticket and went and got tonsillitis instead
Yep, goes to show that even the easiest of runs can turn to custard when they let me and Mr Ice play unsupervised
Yes Skid you are right, I need to write more stories, but I need to do more 4WDriving to do that and that requires a certain mad engineer to finish the Lada........
I dont have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle....
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Nice work. I half expected the body and chassis seperating when the loader rope extended. Great story. Any lessons learnt by mr Ice?
FJ62
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
havn't laughed that hard in awhile, keep up the great work
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
I bet a lot of us have been in that exact same situation at some time in our travels, I know I have.
Well told mate
cheers
Greg
Well told mate
cheers
Greg
Yea, though I drive through the valley of death (and it's mudbogs), I shall fear no trail;for tho art modified is my rig, and thy lift kit and lockers they comfort me. Amen
- 1000dollamitzy
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:34 am
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Thanks Guys
Well seeing as Mr Ice is having trouble logging into ORE I shall have to take the liberty of replying on this thread for him.....
And because he is now winging his way back to somewhere just south of the Artic for the next few months to freeze his arse off I can pretty well say anything I like and there is bugger all he can do about it.....
OK, so what did Mr Ice learn from this little adventure?
Well firstly, I hope that he has finally learned that if I say "Yer you'll be sweet as mate, you'll get through there easy as!!" That he really should have another look at what he is about to drive through
Secondly he has learnt to never promise Mrs Ice that he is going to be home on time when he goes 4WDriving, just a simple, "yes I will be home at some stage dear" will be fine
Thirdly he learnt that Range rovers have a couple of design faults.......
And finally he learnt that angels sometimes look like cool Maori falla's
However Mr Ice's final word on all of this is quite simply
"BALLS"
Well seeing as Mr Ice is having trouble logging into ORE I shall have to take the liberty of replying on this thread for him.....
And because he is now winging his way back to somewhere just south of the Artic for the next few months to freeze his arse off I can pretty well say anything I like and there is bugger all he can do about it.....
OK, so what did Mr Ice learn from this little adventure?
Well firstly, I hope that he has finally learned that if I say "Yer you'll be sweet as mate, you'll get through there easy as!!" That he really should have another look at what he is about to drive through
Secondly he has learnt to never promise Mrs Ice that he is going to be home on time when he goes 4WDriving, just a simple, "yes I will be home at some stage dear" will be fine
Thirdly he learnt that Range rovers have a couple of design faults.......
And finally he learnt that angels sometimes look like cool Maori falla's
However Mr Ice's final word on all of this is quite simply
"BALLS"
I dont have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle....
- Dr_PC
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 797
- Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Moerewa Bay of Islands
- Contact:
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Another great story. Dam we just go wheeling don't break down hardly ever get stuck and don't have any stories to write
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
And the moral of the story is.............
Unless you got a diesel engine and really big wheels on ya truck, all ways cross a river in the rapids at its widest point
Good times, good times
Unless you got a diesel engine and really big wheels on ya truck, all ways cross a river in the rapids at its widest point
Good times, good times
lax2wlg wrote:Is that like saying 'she's hot, for a crackwhore??
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Holy Crap! After 3 weeks being locked out ORE let me log in......
Did I learn anything? Well nothing I didn't already know but it just seemed like a really good idea at the time, until I drove into the river that is then I pretty much knew I was screwed lol. I tried my hardest to get as far up the opposite bank as possible to keep the business end dry well mainly the ECU as I was fully aware of its location. I failed however, by about 2 bloody inches lol.
The reason the engine wouldn't turn over Rick was not the battery being flat but the engine was Hydro-locked! It didn't take any water in as I have a snorkel but the drivers side bank was full of fuel. The wet ECU was constantly earthing the injectors on that bank and continuously pouring fuel in. Well its still doing it unfortunately now I dried it out.
Never mind, I've been meaning to fit that 3.9 for about 2 years now probably the kick in the arse I need to get it in there.
See every cloud has a silver lining
Did I learn anything? Well nothing I didn't already know but it just seemed like a really good idea at the time, until I drove into the river that is then I pretty much knew I was screwed lol. I tried my hardest to get as far up the opposite bank as possible to keep the business end dry well mainly the ECU as I was fully aware of its location. I failed however, by about 2 bloody inches lol.
The reason the engine wouldn't turn over Rick was not the battery being flat but the engine was Hydro-locked! It didn't take any water in as I have a snorkel but the drivers side bank was full of fuel. The wet ECU was constantly earthing the injectors on that bank and continuously pouring fuel in. Well its still doing it unfortunately now I dried it out.
Never mind, I've been meaning to fit that 3.9 for about 2 years now probably the kick in the arse I need to get it in there.
See every cloud has a silver lining
1988 Range Rover Classic
2010 Discovery 4 HSE 5.0 V8
[img]http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg303/eastw77/2_zpse514cc6c.gif[/img]
2010 Discovery 4 HSE 5.0 V8
[img]http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg303/eastw77/2_zpse514cc6c.gif[/img]
- 1000dollamitzy
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:34 am
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
Bugger, that does explain why the engine wouldn't turn over though.
Well Dr_Pc, you are just not trying hard enough!!!!!!!!!!
Another great story. Dam we just go wheeling don't break down hardly ever get stuck and don't have any stories to write
Well Dr_Pc, you are just not trying hard enough!!!!!!!!!!
I dont have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle....
- geckoadventure
- Hard Yaka
- Posts: 550
- Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:30 pm
- Location: Malaysia
- Contact:
Re: "Ive got a crak'n good idea" Said Mr Ice.......
haha wonderful I think you could have a few more incidents to turn this into a full blown everything goes wrong adventure story.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests