I really appreciate your comments and thoughts, its also nice to see people using there "real" names.
Its been two weeks now and hasn't got any easier, I'm so glad i'm self employed. I don't know what it would be like to have to deal with this and try and work as well. The boys at work have been absolutely fantastic, some were supposed to be on holiday but have altered their plans so i don't have to hurry back, which is great. Rachell (my wife) is doing it real hard, as are we both, it still seems so pointless, how does a perfectly happy and healthy baby just not wake up?? specially at 14 months old. The thing that makes this harder is that when i was 17 i lived with my older sister and her husband. They had a wee girl who also died from cot death when she was 10 weeks old. That was hard at the time but you think well its happened in our family now so the rest of us should be safe. You see and hear stories of children who are mistreated and unloved and you wonder why didn't this happen to them, they would have been better off but thats not how it works is it? Lily, Murphys twin sister, is adjusting as well as can be expected but Eden our eldest (2 1/2) is definitely experiencing difficulties. She has developed a real phobia with water, doesn't like things in the bath or pool shes scared they'll go down the plug hole and not come back
not quite sure how to deal with this, at the moment its lots of talking and cuddles. Depending on how bad it gets or how long it lasts we may have to take her to see someone. I was planning to bring her on Sunday but might have to rethink that plan. Would be wierd though, coming on a family trip that is for my family and arriving on my own after leaving the family at home 
Any way enough of my rambling have posted a pic of the wee fellow taken the day before he died. I look forward to seeing you all on Sunday.
Trucks geeting a little panel work done, thanks to Rik(don't ask).
(don't ask).
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. As with all river trips, a snorkel is strongly advised 
but not mandatory.
infact he had the bonnent in and i bet his foot was umming and arrring between the break and gas pedals! 
of course mike was being the voice of reason with the ' yeah go on' and ' you'll be right' ... 
my only bum note is that I didn'r take the time and do it sooner 
I would be keen to see as many photos posted as possible so i can show Rachell. Is it possible to put them all into one album? Maybe Mike?? I'll leave that up to you, see what you can do 
